Anal sex is not just a novelty for young people, but can be tried by older couples too. If you are interested, please feel free to bring it up with your partner. Don't feel embarrassed, it's just a regular form of sex. If your partner is not interested, you can actually try it yourself with a anal sex toy.
As artist Ali Wong said on her talk show, "If you're married you're gonna have to do anal eventually".
Attention to beginners, this is a guide to action that takes a lot less of a detour. Make sure you bookmark it and refresh your memory! Let's start with a Q & A to answer your questions.
Q1. Do girls find it cool?
Technically speaking, girls don't have prostate glands, so 'anal sex' is not as intense for girls. However, there are also many sensitive nerves around the anus, which can bring about a "crap" of pleasure.
The rectum can also stimulate other parts of the pelvic area, making it easier for some women to trigger an 'orgasm'.
Sexual pleasure can be both physical and psychological. Women may not get pleasure as easily as men, but that doesn't mean that the mental pleasure is less intense.
The brain is the biggest genital organ!
Q2. Does it hurt? Will it bleed?
Yes, if it is not properly dilated and lubricated. For anal fissures caused by constipation, you may have experienced it. For female with hemorrhoids, it can also be painful, so it is advisable to seek medical treatment first.
Q3. The anus is so small and the penis is so big, how does it get in?
Both the vagina and the anus are flexible and ductile enough to allow an object of a certain size to pass through. Any part of the human body can be made strong through exercise, but it is important to be careful how you do it. Moderate daily massage and expansion can increase the tolerance and tone of the sphincter.
Q4. Will it be dirty? What if I touch shit?
Good question! According to statistics,over 90% of people who want to try it but are afraid to do all are worried about this! In terms of physiology, it's not that easy to touch poo. The intestines store faeces higher up, there's some distance from the anus.
Q5. Does the anus become loose when it is enlarged?
The perianal sphincter (which is the ring of muscle around the rectal canal) is very strong and ensures the retraction of the anus, which is why it needs to be dilated and lubricated. Sphincter relaxation is usually seen in older people, people with anal injuries, or women with birth tears and need to seek professional medical help.
The next step is a hands-on session
01. About communication and feedback
This is the most important point.
There are many women who are not really interested in trying anal sex, or don't feel good after tried, but in order to please their partner, they just endure the pain during anal sex even if it occurs.
If there is any aspect of anal sex that you don't like, make sure to let your partner know. Instead of saying "it's okay", be upfront about the situation and give feedback in real time.
In a healthy sexual relationship, both partners should be equally comfortable and entitled.
02. About washing
Stools are stored higher up in the bowel, while the average length of the rectum is 12 cm, which your partner may not be able to touch. So as a new, we actually only need to wash the length on the left in the picture below. The full enema demonstrated on the right is not friendly to the intestinal wall.
The best way to cleanse for a beginner is - with your fingers.
Slowly slide your finger into your asshole with shower gel,relax and let your whole finger slide in then let your finger make slow circles inside. Repeat this process some times and you're good to go.
If nothing has ever entered your anus before, this douching part is a good adaptation step. Use just one finger at first, then try two, three, etc. PS: If this douching process makes you feel uncomfortable, then anal sex may not be suitable for you.
For girls who don't want to clean with their fingers (for example if you have long nails), you can also use the rinse tool.
03. About lubrication
The rectum and anus do not produce their own lubricating fluids, so it is very important to use plenty of lubricant.
In addition to the water-based lubricants we use every day,a silicone-based lubricant is more suitable for the anus. This lubricant also does not damage the condom and is thicker than the water-based ones, i.e. it is more lubricated and prevents pain caused by tension for newcomers.
04. About stretching exercises
As we all know, the anus is 'tight' and this delicate flower needs some stretching exercises. The best stretching exercise for newcomers is the butt plug/anal plug.
Anal plugs are actually a medical tool used for anal surgery or for the expansion of an anal blockage. There is a range of four sizes of anal plugs, from small to large, to start with and gradually adapt to your partner's size (we recommend buying a set).
After the cleaning step, try pushing in the head of the anal plug slowly in the rear entry position (lubricated). If you feel good, try the middle end and then do a slow stretching motion. (PS: Remember to be slow! Gently! Just like you normally do with yoga.)
If you still feel good, you can start doing more frequent workouts, maybe 5 times a week for 5-10 days. But if you don't feel good, for example if you experience any pain or even bleeding, stop immediately.
05. About formal anal sex and positions
For newcomers, we recommend that you do all the above preparations (it takes about 1-2 weeks). When you are sure that everything feels good and you want to try real anal sex with your partner, you still - can't rush it.
Because you need to 'do all the foreplay'.
In addition to the usual foreplay you enjoy, add more tongue and finger play, or use sex toys first. Then put on a condom and, with the help of a good amount of lubricant, try penetration slowly.
Finally, always remember to.
1. always wear a condom!
2. use lubricant throughout and replenish it regularly.
3. don't switch between vagina and anus! Because the colonies between them are different. If you want to switch from anal to vaginal, your partner, the sex toys you use and so on must have to be cleaned. So it's best to only do one place at a time.
4. don't use random lubricants that numb or loosen the anus.
5. no excessive enemas, no shaving, no bleaching of the private parts.
6. It is okay to get poo on it.